Has been so long

It has been a really really realllllyyyy long time ever since my last post which is from the past two years. I missed writing but didn't get the opportunity to post something since my life has been busy for the past two years till now. The reason I've decided to post new stuff is that I realize my knowledge and fluency in English had dropped horribly. Every time I speak with my sister, I would always stutter that sometimes I feel like a downer. Now, I hoped to increase my fluency and knowledge of English. Besides that, my major excuse for hiatus was I furthered my study at Universiti Teknologi Mara also known as UiTM. I felt extremely happy because I achieved my main achievement and have made my family proud. My only concern now is I really badly want to get the dean's list for this semester. Oh, and I forgot to tell you that it is I'm currently starting my third semester for this early in the year. And I really hope that I could get the dean's list for this new semester, unlike my previous ones, I want to pay more attention and focus more on the study. Since this semester might be one of the busiest semesters, I need to manage my time wisely between my studies and my club. My club which is KEB club which involves dancing, singing, playing instruments, and acting, will hold a lot of events and programs to entertain other students and to make our club more alive and active. It was really fun joining the club because of the chance of getting to know new people and new experience especially being on stage as I have never been on it before except for the one on my 6th-grade Graduation Day. After then, I hate being on stage or presentation or anything that involves being in the center of attention. Unfortunately, the thought of it builds a few consequences. For example, I detach a lot from people and sometimes feel left out even I knew that I'm the one who created the situation. I was at fault. Secondly, I got anxiety disorder which I feel anxious a lot whenever I'm with someone thinking they might have disliked me because I don't talk much, I'm boring, I only mind my own business to the point I got really stressed out because of the voices in my head saying they don't like me, saying negative things and I always tried to fight those negative voices in which I know it's not mine but my evil side. Thirdly, I lost confidence in introducing myself, presenting which is very bad since self-confidence is required especially when you want to apply for a job and you need to come to their interviews. Self-confidence is the only thing I need to fix. Without it, I am pretty sure I wouldn't survive in this hell-like world. Well, it's getting pretty late and I could feel my eyes are getting because of the sleepiness. Thank you for reading my blog!! Love yourself, Be Yourself, Peace!!